1000 Days of Love #1: the blessing of being slow

Hi friend,

Soundarya here, author of 1000 Days of Love. :)

Welcome to the first edition of the 1000 Days of Love newsletter, where I share a tiny story, a tiny experiment, and ask you one question.

🎁 Every edition will have a surprise gift hidden somewhere in the text. If you find it, just hit reply with the word & a screenshot! Whoever finds it first wins the gift.

And yes, the book will soon launch for pre-orders! Mark August 16 on your calendars 🙃 But I'll remind you, of course, as we get closer.

With that, let's go.

A short story

For most of my life, I thought speed was a virtue.

Reply fast. Post fast. Study fast. (I still do this to some extent!)

But then, I watched my godfather, Rajesh, live the opposite for the past five years. He has Parkinson's, which means his body moves slowly whether he wants it to or not. Most people think of this as a loss.

Yet, this is what he said when I brought up the topic of speed (in a course that we shot last year):

~~~

Rajesh: If there's one thing that helped me be more present, it's losing my speed, because of my Parkinson's. I didn't have the burden of being fast, rather I had the blessing of being slow.

Me: Rajesh, most people think being slow is a liability. But you're saying it's a blessing.

Rajesh: I thought so too, at first. But then I thought, what can slow people do better than fast people?

Me (leaning forward): What is it?

Rajesh: Seeing things with higher fidelity.

Me: What does that even mean? Give me an example.

Rajesh: When I meet a person, I want to know only two things - (a) What are their superpowers? (b) What do they care about? Being slow helps me be patient to get to the bottom of this, even if it takes two hours sometimes.

Me: We spoke for two and a half hours the first time we spoke :)

Rajesh: Exactly. And there's another benefit to being present. You stand out. Because most people are used to being listened to in a half-hearted way. So when you're fully there, they remember you more. Like the late Dr. Mark Goulston says, "When you truly listen, the other person feels felt."

~~~

I've had daily calls with Rajesh for almost five years now.

And I can tell you with certainty that I never feel more "seen" than when I am on a call with him (even though it's only on audio). Because I know he is fully, undoubtedly, and 1000% present with me.

That is the best gift I can ask for.

A tiny experiment

💡 Experiment: You have three days left this week. Pick one conversation you're about to have, and walk into it like they're the most interesting person in the world. Listen much, much, much more than you talk. See magic unfold.

Reasoning: We're all starved for attention, for someone to give us their full presence. And when we receive it, it feels like a warm blanket. Offer it to someone.

A question for you

🤔 Question for you: Who in your life makes you feel most "seen"? What do they do that most others don't?

Hit reply and tell me. I read every response, and I'll share a few in the next edition (anonymously, unless you tell me otherwise).

Quote of the week: Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

~ Lao Tzu

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